43 Things

I just turned 55 and so I thought I’d share 43 things I’ve learned in those 55 years. Why 43 things and not 55? If you know me well, then you already know the answer to that question: I identify as 43. When wine or cocktails are involved, though, I’m much younger, and then the next morning I shrivel up and age again (to the age on my birth certificate). But on most days, I feel about 43, so I’m sticking with that. It works for me.

Anyway, I’ve learned a thing or two along my journey — although to be honest, I used to think that by this age, I’d have learned way more. Not so, which is another reason I didn’t make this post “55 things.” I don’t think I could come up with that many.

If you care to compare your life-schooling with mine, or may want to pick up some additional lessons you may have glossed over along your journey to wisdom, then read on. It’s sort of my take on Oprah’s “Things I know for sure,” except that I don’t know anything for sure…I’m just guessing.

Here are the 43 things I’ve learned in my 55 years:

(in no particular order)

1.    You don’t need for others to validate your self-worth; that’s your job.

2.   The people with whom you surround yourself have a bigger impact on you than you know.

3.   Age fluid does not mean changing your age according to how you feel (my definition), but actually has something to do with pedophilia. Oops!

4.   Self-deception is a powerful rejuvenating tool.

5.   Your spouse/partner is one of your biggest teachers in this life. He/she is not here to piss you off; he/she is here to make you work out your shiz.

6.   Alcohol has its own rules when it comes to diet and nutrition.

7.   If it doesn’t bring you joy, peace, or a valuable lesson, don’t do it. (There are exceptions to this, but try)

8.   On that note, you can Marie Kondo a lot more than your home.

9.   Open your mind and your heart to new things, new experiences, and new people — it will enrich your life.

10. Sometimes in order to find yourself, you need to get lost for a bit.

11. If you don’t loosen up, you’ll miss all the fun.

12. Sunscreen is your best anti-aging product; retinoid is the second; Preparation H is the third.

14. You are flawed. You have made mistakes and you will continue to make more. And that’s OK.

15. You know those things you said you’d never ever do? Surprise!

16. If you wait for a special occasion to drink the good wine, it will turn. Drink it now. Same with skincare. (Don’t drink it, use it.)

17. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it or accept it and move on.

18. That little voice inside your head? It’s usually right. Listen.

19. One day you may run into someone with whom you went to school but not realize it and think, Who is that old dude? And then be hit with the realization that you are the same age as that old dude.

20. When you don’t know what to do, just breathe.

21. Not everyone has to understand you. They’re too busy trying to understand themselves.

22. Don’t put things off until it’s too late. But if you did put something off, it’s really not too late. Do it already!

23. Our time here is limited so don’t waste time on things that are out of your control.

24. Confidence is not about being beautiful or having the perfect body. Beautiful, fit women have insecurities too. Confidence comes when you acknowledge your flaws, change the ones you can change, and accept the others. (Similar to no. 17.)

24. Some people are toxic and they have no purpose in your life other than to deplete you. Let them go.

25. Eventually, you get tired of self-criticism and choose self-acceptance instead.

26. It’s never too late to have a plot twist.

27. Don’t judge people by the mask they’re wearing. Get them to remove the mask and then judge.

28. You don’t have to be happy 100% of the time. It’s OK to have off days.

29. When someone is being rude, mean, or otherwise unpleasant, remember that everyone is struggling with something you may not know about. Give them the benefit of the doubt. But also, some people are just assholes.

30. A midlife crisis can be really, really fun!

31. Children need to be prepared to take flight a lot sooner.

32. On days when you can’t muster up self-love, aim for self-like instead.

33. When you give yourself a middle name, some people won’t understand. Some will think you’ve lost your mind. Some will laugh at you (to your face and behind your back). But a few will think it’s freaking awesome. Those are your peeps.

34. Sometimes, the human in you just needs to have the experience. Let her.

35. Everyone is just trying to figure it out and none of us will ever figure it out.

36. You don’t need to look outside for answers; everything you need to know is deep inside of you. Be still and listen.

37. Nothing gets rid of cellulite. Nothing. (I’m not 100% sure of this one. I’m still trying.)

38. Exercise is something you have to do for the rest of your life. You may as well learn to like it.

39. Sleep is the solution to many of life’s problems.

40. Self-love is a process. You have to kiss a lot of inner frogs before you find your inner princess.

41. Self-confidence is a goal worth pursuing.

42. There will come a day when you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.

43. This ain’t your first rodeo and it’s not your last, but you better be in shape if you want to ride that horse.

And there you have it: A little wisdom from a not-so-wise girl-ish. Now you: Share some of your hard-earned wisdom with us. What have you learned along your journey?

xoxo