Why February is the New January

You’ve heard it, 50 is the new 30, orange is the new black, and now February is the new January. Who came up with that idiotic one? Oh, I think (I’m not entirely sure) it was me. It came in a moment of frustration with my lack of progress last month. I don’t know about you, but January 2020? A waste of a month. A dud.

I need a do-over.

I know you experienced this too, this lackluster, unproductive, and useless month. I’ve seen it all over Instagram…so it must be true.

My fruitless first month of the decade left me feeling disappointed with myself. I had so many personal and professional plans. I was going to enthusiastically participate in #DryJanuary. I had visions of hash-tagging my way through the month sharing my successes. Look how I great I feel after not drinking for a month, I would tell you.

I hate to admit this, but I was getting a little cocky about it in my own head.

Ugh.

I started off super successful. And I was doing great…until January 2nd when after a stressful day informed my husband I needed to go out to dinner and have a glass (or two) of wine.

JANUARY 2ND. I repeat for emphasis.

So #dryjanuary turned into #drywinejanuary.

Which brings me to my revelation.

I was sitting in my car this morning, talking to my older son who recently left home. (He’s making his way to LA via a solo drive across the country.  A journey as necessary for his personal growth as for mine.) He was telling me about the places he was planning to visit, some on the way, others a considerable detour. He had originally planned on making a straight beeline to LA. arriving at his destination as fast as possible and with little detouring.

Wrong.

“But you’re zig-zagging,” I said to him when he shared his itinerary.

“I know,” he said, “but I’m not in a hurry. I’d rather take my time. If there’s something I want to see, even if it’s not on my way, I’ll detour and come back to the route later.”

He’s right.

And I had an AHA moment.

We set lofty goals at the end of every year, hoping, praying that come January, new, healthy and productive habits will replace our old ones, that our weaknesses (procrastinating, lack of willpower, desire to watch Netflix instead of going to the gym, etc.) won’t show up because we’ve turned a calendar page.

We think we will leave all our shit back in the previous year as totems of our past.

It’s no surprise that January is such a bust. Yet, I believe we need to consider January a transition month, similar to a transition relationship. The one after your last one but before you commit to your next one. The real, forever relationship.

Or the month of grace. Think about it. December is wrought with chaos. The holidays, family, insurance renewals — busy, busy busy. It’s a money-spending, sugar-ingesting, alcohol-guzzling, party-going, cortisol-rasing month.

How can we possibly expect ourselves to snap to it come January first? That cortisol is still swimming in our system. We’re in a stress coma.

Luckily, there’s a better month, a shorter month, a month not burdened with expectations. This month is called February. And I love February. (See what I did there). But here’s the thing. February doesn’t pressure you.

And if you screw up February, guess what? It’s a short month. There are 10 longer months full of promise.

We forget that the road towards our goals is never straight and rarely short. Haven’t we been on this road before? This ain’t our first rode. It’s twisty and zigzaggy and sometimes you backtrack on the same road, and other times you just want to detour off the road completely and do something else — or nothing at all — before moving on. Just like my son.

Pockets of inactivity and indecision are not a reflection of failure. They are temporary pauses or detours.

So if January hasn’t yielded the results you were aiming for; if you failed to achieve your honest but mighty goals, February is a new beginning.

Like I said, it’s the new January.

But more importantly, wherever you’re standing on the calendar, you get to decide every moment to be better, to do better, to come back to yourself, to breathe, or to change everything if need be.

Whatever you do, though, do not beat yourself up about not taking action or not sticking to your goals. Give yourself a little grace. Today is a new day to start. Perhaps January was a reminder that lofty goals are not always practical. Life will always life on you.

In fact, a more realistic hashtag for January should be #shithappens.

We want to believe that we have what it takes to tackle our greatest hurdles. And we do. We really do. But sometimes we have to tackle those hurdles slowly and consistently. It’s still forward movement even if when you take a side detour or stopped completely to take a breather.

But for right now, you’re here. So take it all in. And if you’re reading this is your reminder that you still have today.

Stick to the plan just change the timeline.

Instead of waiting for a new month or a new week or a new decade or a new brain, why don’t you just start today, right now, wherever you are.

I did a guided meditation once, and the woman had us close our eyes and were told that when our mind wandered,  we were to say to ourselves, “Right here, right now, nothing else.” Over and over. Every time our thoughts wandered to the past or forwarded to the future or we were stuck on a particular thought that didn’t serve us, we’d repeat the mantra,

“Right, here, right now, nothing else.”

And if that is not a metaphor for life I don’t know what is.

So let’s take it from my meditation guide and leave January in our dust. No more beating ourselves up. No more feeling sorry for ourselves. No more blaming January for being such a shitty month. It’s just a month. Today is the day from which to proceed. Today is real, not some vague time in the future where magic, health, energy, and youth reside.

What can you do today to set yourself back on the path to success?

Start where you are. You do not have to go far or fast. You could just take a step if you can. And when you get the urge to get off the path or to do nothing at all, or when the magnitude of your unfulfilled goals knocks you down, breathe and then repeat to yourself:

Right here.

Right now.

Nothing else.

xoxo