How to Overcome Your Self-Limiting Beliefs Around Age

We all have limiting beliefs; stories we have about ourselves. They’re either deep-seated stories we keep retelling about who we are, what we can’t do, or what we’re lacking, or a new narrative that has emerged along with a new season in our life; stories that tell us we’re too old for this or it’s too late for that. These are what I call, Youth-Limiting beliefs, and I have found a way to overcome them.

I see it all the time in women that I know, and I’ve had moments where I let these youth-limiting beliefs peek their nasty, destructive little heads too. I know all too well how they’ve held me back in the past and I suspect they may be holding you back as well.

So I wanted to come on here today and do a little preaching, give you a little reminder that the clock we all hate is ticking, and that it’s ticking whether you do something about these limiting beliefs or not.

If you have negative beliefs about your age or yourself in general, you need to understand (and I’m guessing that you do) that these beliefs aren’t serving you, rather, they are preventing you from living your best and most youthful life.

What are youth-limiting beliefs?

Youth-limiting beliefs are belief systems or consistent thoughts that we hold tightly inside our minds that revolve around our age. They’re usually (always) negative, make us feel bad about ourselves, or prevent us from doing something that could potentially bring us joy. 

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are related — we know that. Thinking negative and feeling bad often leads to self-sabotaging behavior.

Let’s take as an example the youth-limiting belief that after a certain age you can’t have abs. If that is a belief you hold, you will likely not bother working out, eating healthfully, or buying cute clothes that may show your middle. That is self-sabotaging.

I’m currently challenging that belief myself…every day. And so far what I’m discovering is that you definitely can have abs after a certain age, you just have to work much harder for them. But maybe that’s a youth-limiting belief too…hmmm?

How To Rid Yourself of Youth-Limiting Beliefs

In order to cultivate the life you want, make the most of the time you have on Planet Earth, extend your youth for as long as possible, and enjoy the second half of life as much, or more, than the first, you have to challenge these limiting beliefs. 

Here’s how…

1. Acknowledge Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Be honest with yourself. What youth-limiting beliefs do you have? Write them down — no one has to see them. They could include anything from fear, excuses, experience, etc. Here are some examples:

♥ I’m too old to…(example: I’m too old to wear a bikini).

♥ I’m way too old to…(example: I’m way too old to attend Burning Man). More on that one later.

♥ It’s too late for…(example: It’s too late for me to find love).

♥ I can’t…(example: I can’t have a toned body at my age).

♥ Those __ are for someone younger…(example: Those ripped jeans are for someone younger).

♥ __ is hard at my age…(Example: losing weight is hard at my age).

♥ I have to…(example: I have to act my age).

♥ I must not…(example: I must not wear clothes that are sexy, people will look at me like I’m weird).

2. Question The Thoughts You May Have

So…what makes something true and what makes something a lie? Is something that is true for you actually true? When we believe our thoughts instead of what is really true we experience suffering. When we attach to our limiting thoughts, and believe, for example, that being overweight in midlife is an inevitable part of life, we are encouraging ourselves to give up — on ourselves and on an awesome life.

This is what Byron Katie calls “inquiry.”

I’m a self-help junkie, and as one of my favorite personal growth gurus, Byron Katie, suggests in her book, Loving What Is, ask yourself: Is this true? Is this really true? Is it really true that you’re too old to get in shape, or is that just a belief you have?

What is the basis of that belief? Is it society? Is it your own distorted view of aging? Are you perpetuating the stereotypes that are prevalent in our youth culture?

Usually, these beliefs appear because you have had one (or more) bad experience regarding these beliefs, and automatically your brain shuts down to the possibility of you doing whatever it is you think you can’t do. Does the belief that you’re too old to get in shape sound true to you? Of course, it does.  It will sound perfectly valid and you probably can come up with lots of evidence to support it.

Example: You have tried this workout thing before but it’s hard, damn it, and your body doesn’t respond at your age.

Research shows it takes a full 21 days to actually build a new thought inside your brain and 62 days to turn that into a habit. So did you stick to it long enough to get results, or did you quit before it became a part of your life?

But it’s still a belief that is getting in the way of what you want — to be fit and healthy and strong and youthful looking — so acknowledge that these are beliefs, not truths.

Unless you’re willing to totally give up on looking the best that you can look for your age and feeling really, really good about yourself, it’s a limiting belief (and, therefore, decision) that you don’t want to keep around.

You choose.

3. Arm Yourself With New, Empowering Beliefs

The next step to take after acknowledging that those beliefs you held are not true, is to form new beliefs. Find examples of women your age who have what you want or are doing the things you want to do. Use them as inspiration.

I use Elle McPherson as my inspiration. She’s my age, 54, and so much like me (I’m laughing now). But what? The only difference between Elle and me is…well, that she’s a supermodel for one, that she’s statuesque for another, and that she is formerly known as “The Bod” and is still living up to that nickname.

But that’s neither here nor there. SHE’S MY AGE, and she’s a human person. And she may be an ex-supermodel and 6 feet tall, but that chick works out hard and eats super healthfully. So if she can do it, so can I!

4. Take different action

After replacing your limiting beliefs with new, empowering, and positive ones, start acting as if. Start acting as if you are young! I do. 

In other words, if you really are young (ish) then you will buy those cute ripped jeans, or you will put yourself out there more, either in love or in life. If you really are healthy and fit you will put spinach and cauliflower in your grocery cart.

It might be hard to change your old (pardon the pun) beliefs and it might take some time, but stick with it.

It’s simple but effective.