A Mother’s Day Wish

Hi there, Chicky,

I’ve hosted Mothers Day at my house for as long as I can remember. I spend the morning cooking (which for me means putting pre-ordered food on platters), making sure mimosa glasses are full, and then cleaning up after everyone’s gone. I end the day with my feet aching and exhausted, realizing I was so busy pouring into others that I spent zero time with my boys. Happy Mother’s Day to me!

Don’t get me wrong. I am thankful for the time I get to spend with my mother, and I love seeing how happy it makes her to be surrounded by her daughters and grandchildren. But to tell you the truth, it never feels like it’s my Mother’s Day. You know what I mean?

As I was making the plans for this year’s brunch, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be crazy wonderful if on Mother’s Day we were given the chance to go back in time and relive a day when our children were little?” One more day before they get too old for cuddles and cheerios, before they grow up to think they know everything and you know nothing; one ordinary day to do ordinary things.  Except this day you’d know you only have that one day. I bet you’d do things differently — I sure would.

You have to understand: this Mother’s Day is particularly emotional for me. My baby boy will be going off to college in the fall. It is a bitter reminder of the quick passing of time, the chances we miss, and the things we take for granted. We wait for the moments to pass before we appreciate how precious each and everyone of those are.

I’d love to go back to any day when my oldest, Eric, was 5 and my youngest, Stephen, was 2

That was one of my favorite seasons with them.  They were past the crazy baby stage and becoming little interesting humans, developing their personality, exploring every new thing, and taking us along. That’s the season we embarked on the wonderful ride of being baseball parents. They both played in the beginning, but quickly it became Eric’s game. I have so many memories of him always in a baseball uniform. That year sparked in him the love of baseball that lasted until his first semester in college, when he was injured and could no longer play.

It’s also the age when Eric went through his Batman phase, although it was more of an obsession than a phase. He had Batman sheets, Batman underwear, Batman pajamas, socks, backpack, you name it. If it had the Batman on it, he had it — I made sure of it. That’s the age when he asked me if he could go to superhero college when he grew up. Every time we drove past the University of Miami, which he knew was my “college”, he was convinced that was where you went to become a superhero. He wanted a bat mobile of course, who wouldn’t. And when he got his first car (a black one), he bought a Batman break-light cover —  Some things never change.

So huge was his obsession with the cape crusader, that one night my husband and I went for drinks at the Delano Hotel in Miami Beach (on a rare night we had a babysitter), and were standing literally five feet from George Clooney. I had the George freaking Clooney in front of me, and all I could think was, “Wait until I tell Eric I saw Bruce Wayne in person.” (Motherhood does strange things to a women.)

The funny thing is, Eric had — and still has — the perfect chiseled chin, perfect to fit the role of Batman. I’ve always thought he’d make the most handsome one.

Stephen was my little buddy when he was 2 — my sunshine — always hanging out with me while Eric was in school, and always making me laugh. He’d go shopping with me, and I’d take him to the movies and to lunch at Johny Rockets — his favorite restaurant. We spent a lot of hours at Barnes & Nobles (Barney Blume as he called it. We never did figure that one out).

Blues Clues was Stephen’s favorite show— which he called “Lolo” — and the image of him dancing along with the theme song  singing “lolo, lolo” still melts my heart.

Stephen had those funny baby words for things that Eric never did. My favorite was how he pronounced Gorilla (Gorilla).  The day he finally learned to say it correctly my husband and I were crushed; it was a sign that our baby was growing up, and we didn’t want that to happen so fast.

I’m going to miss my little buddy so much when he goes off to school. It’s funny how you could be so happy for your kids, but so sad for yourself. Part of being a parent, I know, is giving our kids wings.  I don’t think I’ve done a good job of that with Eric, I’ve held on too tight, and I regret that.  He’s had trouble leaving the comfort and security of his nest. But he’s my guinea pig, my child experiment, my motherhood internship, and I’m constantly reminding myself, that as mothers, we do the best we can with what we know at the time. You live and you learn, and hopefully not make too many mistakes.

Unfortunately, we can’t go back for one more day; that is why we need to make the most out of every day — every moment. We only get those moments once. Life is precious, moments are precious, even the moments that don’t seem very special at the time. What’s that quote? “You don’t understand the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” How true that is.

I miss my little boys – I miss everything about them.

Eric is now 21. A 6′-1″ muscular man/boy who can probably break my ribs with a strong hug. And Stephen is a skinny — and not so tall — 18 year old, with long hair and a wicked sense of humor, who can still make me laugh every single day.

I love my relationship with my boys now, but it’s so different being the mother of men (on paper only, believe me). They have their own interests, their own opinions (unfortunately), but they still need their mama. Don’t we all.

Happy Mother’s Day!

xoxo,

V